Before the Strategy, Name the Stress

A better starting point for couples approaching or living in retirement.

Most retirement conversations start in the same place.

Returns.

Rates.

Projections.

Charts that look great on paper.

That makes sense; You have to start somewhere when you’re planning decades in advance.

But as retirement gets closer, or officially begins, reality shows up - usually without an appointment or a heads up.

We don’t live on spreadsheets. We live in real life. And real life has a way of exposing risks that never show up in a Monte Carlo simulation.

That’s why one of the most important questions a couple can ask isn’t, “What’s the best strategy?”

It’s this:

Which risk truly keeps us up at night?

Step 1: Name the Stress

When couples slow down and rank what creates the most pressure, the answers are rarely theoretical.

• Running out of monthly income

• A market drop at the wrong time

• Outliving savings

• Rising healthcare or caregiving costs

• Monthly payment obligations

• Taxes later in retirement

• Leaving something meaningful to family

Here’s what matters most:

Partners often rank these very differently.

And that gap matters more than the math.

Step 2: Make the Tradeoffs Visible

Every retirement strategy involves tradeoffs. There’s no way around it.

• Predictability or flexibility?

• No debt or no required payments?

• Simplicity or optionality?

• Maximizing inheritance or enhancing your retirement lifestyle?

There is no universal right answer.

There is only the answer that fits your values and your tolerance for uncertainty.

Step 3: Do the Reality Check

This is where clarity shows up.

• If one income disappeared tomorrow, what changes immediately?

• If markets dropped 20 percent, how would income and confidence be affected?

• If one spouse needed care, what’s the funding plan?

• How much do you value sleeping well versus optimizing every last dollar?

These questions aren’t pessimistic.

They’re practical.

Step 4: Align Strategy to Real Life

Only after those conversations does strategy make sense.

Sometimes that points to refinancing. Sometimes pensions, annuity ladders, or Roth conversions. Sometimes a reverse mortgage loan. Often, it’s a combination.

The point isn’t the product.

The point is alignment.

Too many plans are built for perfect conditions. Very few are built for messy ones.

Good Plans Survive Spreadsheets. Great Plans Survive Real Life.

Make sure yours can do both.

If you’re a couple approaching retirement, or an advisor helping couples navigate these decisions, I help facilitate the conversations that plans often skip.

If you’re curious how a reverse mortgage loan might fit into a broader, real-life strategy, let’s talk.

No pressure. Just clarity.