The Two Questions I Ask Every Homeowner

When I sit down with a homeowner that is considering a Home Equity Conversion

Mortgage (HECM - the FHA-sponsored version of the reverse mortgage loan), there are two questions I ask early.

I don’t ask these questions as a formality or to simply 'check a box;' if anything, it's a reality check on important planning:

1. Do you have a Trust or Estate Plan?

2. What’s your plan for Long Term Care?

If either answer is “I think so,” “not yet,” or “we’ll figure it out when we need to,” that tells me more about future risk than any balance sheet ever could.

To be clear, this isn’t about fear. It’s about timing and forethought, because the worst time to build a plan is the moment you’re forced to use one.

Estate Planning: Control While You Still Have It

My wife and I established our Estate Plan almost 6 years ago, and if I'm being honest (I am), it came about by happenstance.

A financial advisor and friend was putting on a webinar with an Estate Planning Attorney and I registered to attend simply to support my friend.

Then I learned about Probate - which prompted me to near-immediate action.

(Probate is a legal proceeding to gather, assess, and distribute assets after someone has passed. It is a slow, public, and expensive process.)

There's a saying that goes something like this: "If you don't have a plan for your assets, don't worry, the Government has one for you."

This can be extended to another saying: "How much do you want to tip the Government on your way out the door?"

An estate plan is not about death. It’s about decision-making authority while you’re

alive.

Without a clear plan in place:

• Decisions shift from your preferences to default legal processes

• Families are often forced into rushed conversations during emotional moments

• Courts, not people you trust, may end up calling the shots

A well-built estate plan answers questions before they become urgent:

• Who makes decisions if you can’t?

• How is property handled if one spouse passes first?

• What happens if care is needed and timelines accelerate?

The real value here is not documents; it’s clarity under pressure.

Our estate plan was completed three months after I attended that webinar, and not a day has passed when I didn't feel relief that it was done.

And to add a cherry on top: it was a simple process that cost far less than I imagined (which doesn't compare to what it will save my family in stress and finances should I suddenly pass or become incapacitated).

Long Term Care: Plan As If You’ll Need It

Here’s the mindset shift I walk every homeowner through:

Plan as if you’ll need long term care.

Take it as a bonus if you don’t.

Most people do this backwards. They hope they won’t need care, avoid planning, and then react when options are limited.

Did you know 7/10 65-yr-olds will need some level of long-term care?

The average time LTC will be needed: 3.75 years for men; 2.75 years for women.

Depending on the level and duration of care, total costs can easily reach, or exceed, six figures per year.

Long term care planning isn’t just about nursing homes. It’s about:

• Where care happens

• Who coordinates it

• How it’s paid for

• How much control the family retains

And most importantly:

• What financial resources stay flexible

• What assets are protected

• What decisions are made calmly vs. under duress

  
  

Waiting removes leverage. Planning preserves it.

Considering 70% of us will need some sort of LTC, it seems like risk mitigation planning is the best bet to place.

Why This Comes Before Any Product Conversation

A Home Equity Conversion Mortgage, like any financial tool, should support a broader plan. It should never be the plan.

Without an estate plan and LTC framework:

• Financial decisions become reactive

• Tools get used too late

• Options shrink just when flexibility matters most

With an estate plan and LTC strategy in place:

• Decisions stay intentional

• Equity becomes a resource, not a last resort

• Families operate from alignment instead of urgency

The Advantage of Early Planning

The homeowners who plan early don’t necessarily have more money; they have more choices.

When there is preparation for an involuntary disruption (because the need to implement an estate plan or LTC strategy is a disruption we didn't ask for), homeowners often find:

• Lessened panic or shock

• Fewer forced sales

• More dignity

• Clear roles for family members

Individuals and couples that consider estate planning and a long-term care before

they’re needed are not predicting the future; they're preparing for uncertainty.

That distinction carries emotional and financial weight that can make all the difference when that involuntary disruption strikes.

Final Thought

If you take one thing from this article, let it be this:

Plans built early are used with calm intention and understanding.

Plans built late are used under pressure.

My job starts with questions, not solutions. The solution comes once the most important questions are answered and a plan is put in place.

If you would like a reference for an outstanding estate planning attorney and/or long-term care specialist, please contact me. An important part of my responsibility of service to you is working with high-quality individuals that have your best interest as their

primary focus.